


danse macabre

by darknesshadows (FeatheredShadow)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Parabatai Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatheredShadow/pseuds/darknesshadows
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures. As the war against Valentine's army raged on, the Clave took a terrible decision,  leaving an unlikely team to deal with the aftermath. Post season 1, show compliant only.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _8/7/2017: I decided to cut this story in three chapters for ease of reading. The story itself, first published on 11/11/2016, hasn't changed, I just corrected a few grammar mistakes._

_Just ‘cause it’s part of a plan_  
_That doesn't make it right_  
_If I put my life in your hands_  
_It's still unmistakably mine_

[Delain – Danse Macabre](http://www.deezer.com/track/128454323)

* * *

 

_“Get back! Alec, I mean it.”_

_Jace walked through the portal, forcibly escorted by Valentine, and Clary could only watch him leave, unable to move, horror written all over her face._

_“Jace. Jace! No!”_

ooOoo

_Six months later._

 

Blood was dripping on the ground in front of her. Clary hesitated, not too sure how to feel about the slippery steps. The cave was dark and wet, with cold wind blowing around them, although they had been going down for long enough that she was sure no _natural_ breeze should have been able to reach them. Magnus, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have a problem with the bloody steps: he was already far in front of her, the blue glow surrounding him the only source of light in the cave. They had been going down the stairs for a long time, going deeper and deeper under the earth, and she had stopped being able to see the roof of the cave a long time ago, lost as it was in the shadows.

_A lost entry to the Downworld_ , Magnus had said.

Well, not exactly lost for everyone, but it required age and power to be able to find it. It hadn’t been easy – and still, it was supposed to be the easiest part of the process. It seemed like hours had gone since they had started going down the stairs, and the air had only become colder ever since. And the _smell_ …

Behind her, Izzy was muttering under her breath, the heels of her boots not making any sound. She was walking right into her footsteps: only Magnus knew where to walk, and Clary had been careful enough to follow his every move. Dark creatures lived among the shadows of the cave, old, powerful creatures that even the Clave didn’t want to fight against if it wasn’t necessary.

The rock of the stairs seemed fragile under her shoes, and Clary held her breath for a moment. _It was like a descent into hell_ – nerve-wracking.

And blood was still dripping – the only sound in the cave besides their own breath.

“How far from it are we?” she finally asked, her eyes fixed on the traces of Magnus’s footsteps.

“It shouldn’t be very long to reach it, now,” he answered in a low voice, stopping a moment to let the two Shadowhunters join him.

It was so strange to be only the three of them, but Simon was busy helping Raphael, Jace was still in the hands of Valentine, and Alec…

The emptiness – the vacancy – of his eyes came back to her and she felt her heart stop for a moment. _They were doing this for him_ , she reminded herself. Even if he didn’t want it and even if the Clave would have them banished if they ever found out… _He would never have done that if Jace had still been around_ , Izzy had said, her face colder than she had ever seen it. But it was all the crux of the problem, after all – the search for Jace had taken a toll on him, and the war against Valentine’s army… The Clave had been losing ground, too much ground, and had resolved themselves to an extremity she wouldn’t have believed if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes. She hadn’t even thought it possible but –

“We’re close now,” Magnus whispered, the blue glow still hovering around him.

The stairs seemed to disappear now that they were back on solid ground, and Clary felt uneasy. Izzy was stone-faced, her whip already ready in her hand, scanning the shadows, looking for information – or threats.

“Come on, we don’t have much time.”

Something broke under Clary’s shoe and she looked at it with disgust, not sure what it was. Bone? Blood? The remains of an overly confident Shadowhunter?

The walk to their destination – a round room which, according to the legends, was the right place to invocate one of the Old Creatures – was a short one and soon enough they found themselves in front of a large pool built from stone and adorned with mysterious carvings she couldn't recognize. A liquid was sloshing softly despite the lack of air and torches on the wall had already been lit. By whom, Clary couldn’t say – and neither could Magnus, according to the somber look on his face. But lighting the torches was part of the ritual needed to reach one of the Old Creatures, and if it had already been done…

“They have been waiting for us, right?” Izzy asked in a low voice, her grip on her whip stronger than before. “They knew we would come.”

Magnus nodded, the glow fading around him.

“Is it a good or a bad thing?” Clary said to one in particular, not really expecting an answer. Runes were drawn on the walls of the cave – on what could be seen by the light of the torches anyway.

She couldn’t recognize any, and wished, not for the first time in the past six months, for Jace to be here.

_If only they had managed to find him… find Valentine’s ship…_

“Depends for whom, dear,” a feminine voice said.

A silhouette had taken place in the pool, but it was hard to figure out what it was exactly. From a side look it appeared to be a woman, but looking straight at it, it was only a cluster of shadows.

Izzy took a short breath and walked quickly towards the pool, anger all over her face.

“Do not play games with us,” she hissed before Magnus grabbed her by the arm to push her back.

Clary had never seen him looking so alarmed, not even when Alec…

“We mean no disrespect,” he assured the creature in a reverent tone. “Isabelle is…”

“Worried sick for her brother and furious at his decision, I know,” the creature cut him short. “I know why you are all here. Although I must say, Magnus, I was not expecting _you_ to resolve to such drastic measures. Where has all your _optimism_ gone?”

The Warlock pinched his lips hard, frowning.

“Down the gutter, apparently,” he muttered.

The creature started laughing. Clary drew closer to her friends, unsure of what to do. This – calling upon a creature as old as the angels, according to the legends – was something she wasn’t ready to deal with.

“If you know why we are here, then will you help us?” she inquired, trying to keep her voice as respectful as possible.

_What we are summoning,_  Magnus had said, _has the power to wipe us out of existence on a whim. And there is nothing we could do against it._ _In fact, we could die just calling upon it, if they desire so. I understand if you do not want to risk your life like that, Clary. The price might be…_

_Alec was worth it_ , she had said, and hadn’t missed the grateful look on his face. _Alec and Jace_ , and Izzy had hugged her. She had grown to care for, to _love_ the sour, grumpy Shadowhunter, and seeing what had happened to him had broken her heart. He was her _friend_ now – had been until… _the event_ , and if she could find a way to help, then she would try everything in her power to do so.

“Oh, that remains to do be seen, dear,” the creature assured her, a smile on its face.

Well, she thought it was a smile anyway – it was hard to see anything in the cluster of shadows, but she assumed it was one.

“Now, children, why don’t you do this _properly_? Speak up, Warlock, and tell me what brought you here with two Shadowhunters.” 

They huddled closer together. The mood of the cave had changed – from playful with a dangerous undertone to fully dangerous.

_We could die on a whim_ , Clary thought, and reached for Izzy’s hand. There she was – looking at Death in the eyes.

“We would like to retrieve a soul willingly offered in exchange of a weapon to win the war,” Magnus started, and Clary could feel Izzy’s grip on her hand growing so strong it started to hurt.

It was still awful to think about what had happened. Five months had gone in a blur of blood and death, with the Clave losing too much ground in too little time, and they had turned to revolting decisions, causing Alec to offer himself up for the sacrifice. Everyone had refused but he had stood his ground and, in the end, given his soul against the means to win the war against Valentine. The invocation had been a nasty business, with the Shadowhunters community of New York here to witness it. Oh, it had been a success all right – for the Clave, in any case. The demon – Creature, Clary corrected herself – had smiled and accepted the bargain. _Your soul for the greatest weapon needed to win the war, Nephilim_ , and Alec had said yes. Clary had thought him cold, before, but it had only been the coldness of his voice – not the coldness of the _void_. The result hadn’t been pretty: a walking weapon, to be used at the Clave’s convenience – gone was the man who had put duty above everything else…  

_Find Jace and bring him back_ , he had told her as a farewell – and she had choked back tears when they had hugged for the first, and last time. _Goodbye, Clary Fray._

“One soul against victory is too high a price for you, isn’t it, Warlock?” the creature purred, shadows moving lazily in the pool. Blood – for it was blood inside it – was still moving softly despite the lack of wind.

Izzy stepped up.

“People lay down their lives during war, that is true,” she said with a firm voice. “But what the Clave did – what my brother gave up… this is wrong. _Unnatural_.”

Cat’s eyes seemed to have appeared on the Creature, whose smile was growing.

“Yet he made his choice. Don’t you think you should respect it?”

Izzy squinted.

“It’s not the first time Alec made a stupid decision,” she assessed. “The Clave pushed too far. Nephilims are not made to walk around without a soul. No living creature should.”

The Creature nodded slowly, still smiling.

“True.” It looked at them. “Your loyalty honors you. Not many would have done what you did – risking your lives, your _futures_ for someone who couldn’t even comprehend this sacrifice anymore… This is very brave. But useless, I am afraid.”

Izzy whimpered, all furor gone from her body. Magnus went so pale Clary wasn’t so sure how he could still stand up – how they could _all_ still stand. She could feel horror growing in her body, realizing their little _trip_ down there had been for naught – and which consequences it implied…

“But the legends said there are ways to…” Magnus started to protest but the Creature shook its head.

“The old legends are not _wrong_ , _per se_ , but none of you are in the position to call for his soul to be brought back. This bargain is not yours to make.”

 

ooOoo

 

He could almost see the full moon through the window – or what was supposed to be a window – on the wall. Jace supposed it was an improvement, going from a container with just a door that could only be unlocked from the outside, to a container with a window. At least he had something to look at when sleep avoided him, like tonight.

Insomnia had never been a friend of him, not with the regime he had been through since his childhood, but since a few weeks, he found himself unable to fall asleep, even after the trainings – _beatings_ – Valentine put him through and the missions he was sent on.

The fact that his parabatai rune had been red and inflamed ever since was probably no stranger to it. He hadn’t known it was possible for a rune to react like that, but on the other hand, he hadn’t thought it possible for Warlock magic to reach him through the parabatai bond either and it had happened once, not long after he had joined Valentine.

Well, he still wasn’t so sure it was _what_ had happened, but he had been in pain ever since he had set a foot on the ship, _except_ for that one night, where the pain had abided a little. It couldn’t have been him, not when his stele was in Valentine’s hands, and it couldn’t have been Alec all by himself – their bond had been too weak for that.

A warlock spell going through the parabatai bond, on the other hand…

Pain suddenly struck him and he fell back against the wall, biting his lip hard to stop himself from screaming. The pain soon receded and he was left panting, stars dancing in front of his eyes.

Something was _wrong_ , but he couldn’t decide whether it was only the rune acting up or if something more sinister was going on.

Gingerly, he lifted up his shirt before gently touching the rune, hissing at the contact. The skin was still as sensible as the first time the pain had pierced through him, and the drawing as red, but it looked like no blood had been drawn.

Well, he had enough blood on his back for the time being anyway. Dried, for sure, but he hadn’t been able to take a shower after coming from his latest mission, and Valentine had been angry that they hadn’t been able to retrieve the item he had been looking for since the past month.

And he had taken his anger on Jace, of course. Always had ever since he had set foot on that ship – since he had taken the place of his biological father, so long ago.

Sometimes, all the years spent with the Lightwoods seemed to be a dream – a pleasant dream, from which he had woken up. It had been especially difficult in the first two months, with his world turned to fists and boots and missions without any possibility to heal himself afterwards. And the parabatai bond had been too weak to draw comfort from it – he had been too unsure to even try it. Only touching the rune had helped, a little, but it had been too fleeting a feeling to really bring him comfort.

The weeks had turned into months and had gone by in a whirl of training sessions and missions he almost got himself killed on way too often, pain veiling his mind, until his rune had started acting up.

Until the Clave had started gaining ground on Valentine’s army, and by the Angel his reaction had not been pleasant.

Jace’s back still wasn’t fully healed and it had been a month ago – at the same time his insomnia had started and his rune had become inflamed and painful.

Something was happening but he had no way of guessing what it was – and neither could Valentine, if his mood was anything to judge by. He had been trying to call upon an old demon – a Creature from the deepest parts of the Downworld – but had only ended with a group of dead bodies, blood dripping all over the ship for two days straight and the wind cackling in their ears.

Jace shivered thinking of the sound and curled around himself. His mind had been getting sharper ever since, but it only made him miss the Institute even more. His heart ached for the Lightwoods, especially Izzy, for Clary, even for Magnus Bane and that kid vampire Simon, but most of all for Alec.

_Alec…_

Jace had always been dreaming of him since he had arrived on the Morning Star – sweet moments where he was held and felt loved and cherished. They had been almost too good to wake up from, but knowing that his _parabatai_ was out there fighting, and looking for him, had been good enough a motivation not to get lost in his mind. Despite everything that had happened since they had walked upon Clary, his _parabatai_ was still the person he loved most. But now, the dreams – not food- or sleep-deprivation dreams, like those he had had in the beginning, where he had hallucinated all the people he cared about at least once – had _changed_. They had started verging on nightmares since his rune had started hurting.

_Alec, where are you?_

He had been catching sight of Izzy and her whip and of Clary and her fire hair on the battleground during the past month, even Magnus Bane once or twice, and even the vampires on one memorable occasion, but Alec? Nothing.

The new Shadowhunter of the Institute on the other hand, who fought with a mask on his face and had been responsible for so many of Valentine’s losses recently, he had seen him from afar plenty of times. He had reminded him of Alec, of course he had, but then again, he had been seeing his parabatai everywhere since he had first set foot on Valentine’s ship. _All of it wishful thinking, of course…_

Moving a little, Jace managed to get a better look at the moon. The atmosphere was tense on the ship and he was rather glad to be left alone for the night, even if he was almost freezing in his container. At least he was left alone with his thoughts.

With his escape plans.

ooOoo

 

The trip back to Magnus’s loft had been a silent affair. Disappointment had been hanging low in the air and Clary couldn’t but wonder what they were going to do now – to whom they could turn to. She wasn’t sure the Old Creature had told them the truth, and if it hadn’t… Was there even a way to retrieve Alec’s soul to the Creature who now had it in its possession or was he condemned to walk around as the killing machine he had become?

Magnus had fallen into his favorite chair without any of his usual grace, the weight of his years heavy on his shoulders. Izzy looked utterly destroyed, her eyes unable to meet Clary’s or Magnus’s – or even Simon’s, who had been lounging in the loft waiting for them to return, Raphael reading next to the window.

“I suppose it didn’t go as well as you expected, then?” the vampire asked in a low voice, his eyes fixed on Magnus.

“We’re still alive,” the warlock muttered with a shrug. “Our request was _entertaining_ , or so it seems.”

Raphael winced. He had helped them doing some research, having grown to care for their little band of misfits since the beginning of the war, and the news was a blow to him, as far as Clary could tell.

“This is bad. I thought the closest blood relation –”

“– wasn’t appropriate to make the bargain. That’s what we were told, anyway,” Izzy explained, looking through the glass in her hand. “I know a blood sacrifice wouldn’t have been enough – not with _them_ – but…”

Her voice went off and Clary squeezed her shoulder, at loss for words. Magnus and Izzy had spent a great deal of time looking for a solution, reading through books much older than she expected – volumes that were written on something much older than parchment et still the only lead they had found had turned to nothing.

“Tell me what happened exactly,” Raphael enquired and Clary was too happy to oblige – trying to figure out something to do as she explained in details what had happened during the evening.

Simon was fussing over Izzy and her, bringing them food and overall being supportive while Raphael was listening intently, a frown growing as time went by. Magnus was barely able to keep still, perusing through old parchments and the notes he had taken during the month, looking for a solution – for a detail he might have missed before and that could help them now.

“It doesn’t mean his soul is gone forever,” Raphael finally remarked once Clary’s story was over. “Just that none of you can actually make a bargain for it. Which makes no sense, because the old legends –”

“– are all about blood, we know,” Izzy mumbled, looking a bit better now that she had some food in her. “And I don’t think they were opposed to _help_ us – I mean, we got out of here easily enough…”

Raphael looked at Magnus, who shrugged in return.

“ _Entertainment_ ,” the Warlock offered weakly before shaking his head. “You know how they can be…”

“Actually, I don’t, I never met any,” the vampire answered before turning back his attention to the Shadowhunters. “In any case, a solution will have to be found. The other clans are getting nervous the Clave is going to set _him_ loose on vampires once they’re done with Valentine’s army, and we all know he has little interest in Downworlders in the first place. They might keep quiet until the war is over, but after that…”

“We don’t even know if Alec is going to survive the war,” Simon objected, before wincing in front of the looks he received. “Demons are tricky! That’s what they said at the Institute, before the ritual, and –”

“The Clave didn’t make a bargain with a _demon_ , Simon,” Magnus explained, not for the first time, finally looking away from his notes. “It was with something far older – and far more powerful.”

“And it wasn’t _the Clave_ who made the bargain anyway, it was _Alec_ ,” Izzy added in a cold voice. “The Calve reaped all the benefices without having to give something in exchange and that’s not –”

“– It’s the only reason the bargain was made in the first place,” Magnus pointed out, looking somber. “ _They_ wouldn’t have bothered with the Clave otherwise.”

Raphael was looking at them, still frowning, and Clary had rarely felt so powerless. There was still so much she didn’t know about Shadowhunter lore, and this time, her lack of knowledge could not so easily be brushed aside. It had already been a miracle Izzy had found the right parchment, the one that gave them their lead on the Old Creature, but it had needed the knowledge of both Magnus and Raphael to decipher it. And even then, they hadn’t been too sure about the outcome of the invocation – whether or not it would have worked…

The conversation went on, Raphael trying to offer suggestions on what to do next and Magnus shutting them down one by one, looking more defeated every time. Izzy had started pacing in front of the window, barely listening to the rumble in the room, and Clary couldn’t help but wonder if there actually _was_ something to do – something other than calling upon one of the oldest creatures known to man.

“The Mortal Cup – ”

“– couldn’t bring back someone’s _soul_ , it’s too young for that. Besides, Valentine has it for now and there is no way to get it back,” Magnus countered.

Izzy stopped and turned back to them, frowning. She opened up her mouth to speak but Clary cut her short.

“If Jace manages to escape and bring it back…”

“We couldn’t use it anyway,” Raphael said, shaking his head. “What the Clave has made a bargain with… it’s far older and more powerful than the Cup. They wouldn’t let go of Alec’s soul.”

He paused and turned towards Izzy.

“I am sorry, Isabelle. I know you had high hopes from tonight’s… _call_.”

Izzy shook her head, still frowning. Something had changed in her demeanor and everyone noticed it, tension building in the room. Clary could feel Simon shaking slightly next to her, nervousness all over his face.

“Jace could still bring it back,” Izzy repeated slowly, obviously pondering over something. “He must have learned some things since he went on that ship with Valentine… he already knew a lot about demons when he came to join us…”

The shadow of Alec hovered over the room for a moment, but Izzy didn’t seem to realize it, lost in her thoughts and apparently talking to herself.

“I’m not sure Valentine knows more about that than we do,” Magnus objected gently. “You know he doesn’t have the same resources that the Institute or the Downworld has and…”

“Jace,” she whispered suddenly, the fight back on her face. “That’s it!”

_“What?”_

Clary was glad not to be the one not understanding where Izzy wanted to go from there – Magnus and Raphael exchanged perplexed looks while Simon was staring at them in surprise. He had learned about vampire lore in the past months, but _this_ was still out of his depth.

“The… Creature said the bargain was not ours to make, and it should have been, because I’m Alec’s closest blood relation, but he and Jace are parabatai!”

Understanding dawned on Magnus’s face and he snapped his fingers.

“They are soul-bonded,” he started before Simon cut him short, obviously lost.

“What does that _even_ mean? I know Jace was very proud to say they had a bond _no human bond could compare to_ but –”

“It’s the parabatai ceremony,” Izzy explained, obviously satisfied to have found a solution. “When Shadowhunters draw the parabatai rune, they bind their souls at the same time – that’s how they become such good soldiers afterwards. They share something that –”

“Wouldn’t it mean Jace’s soul is gone too?” Clary asked, the horrifying possibility suddenly appearing in her mind.

She was reassured to see Izzy and Magnus shaking their heads.

“You can’t bargain another soul than you own,” Magnus told her, his mood obviously improving by the minute. “Jace is fine on that aspect and –”

“And all you have to do is to find him, convince him to come back to the Institute with you and then explain the situation to him,” Raphael butted in, not convinced by the enthusiasm suddenly bubbling. “Which is the _easiest_ solution you could come up with, right?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

The Shadowhunter was standing still on top the building, waiting in silence. The streets were desert at this time of the night, and demons tended to stay clear of the area since he had started going there.

Demons tended to avoid him as much as they could, which made it useful when he was sent on missions to get rid of Morgenstern’s army. The Clave was satisfied with that turn of events, and so was he – this way, it made his missions easier to run through.

(Contrary to  _some_  people at the Institute, he knew that the lack of emotions was actually best for what he had to do, but he didn’t care. Didn’t feel anything, actually. The mission was the only thing that mattered and if his…  _blood relations_  didn’t like the choice he had made, well then, too bad for them.)

The only downside issue to his…  _transformation_  had been the persistent pain in his parabatai rune. He hadn’t talked about it to anyone – had expected it to recede after a few days, but it had been going on for six weeks now, and the pain was still here. It had no influence on his moves during fights, but sometimes, when he was trying to fall asleep, he couldn’t help but touch the rune – the skin sensible under his fingers, red and inflamed.

_The parabatai rune._

The Clave had put a bounty on Jace Wayland’s head, branding him a traitor and the Shadowhunters of the Institute didn’t seem to have a problem it with that, which had been a bit strange to him, at first. He would have expected the young Shadowhunter to have a better reputation, but well… Only Isabelle Lightwood and Clarissa Fairchild had fought against it, but the first one was still under suspicion for her links with the Seelies, and the second one… the Clave was very careful about her too.

_He_ , on the other hand, knew what had happened between Jace Wayland and Valentine Morgenstern – still had all the memories and the emotions attached to them, but free to examine them in total objectivity – and was more inclined to bring the Shadowhunter alive to some kind of safe place, rather than in the clutches of the Clave. Some misplaced sense of loyalty, perhaps, but… Well, who was he trying to fool? Alec Lightwood was still irremediably in love with his parabatai, and he wasn’t the only one hoping for him to escape from Valentine’s clutches and come back.

_Jace is our brother_ , Isabelle had told him once, not long after his transformation, when the Clave had given him his new orders – his new mission, and he had shaken his head to that. The man had never been a  _brother_  to Alec Lightwood, a brother-in-arms perhaps, but not in the way Isabelle Lightwood meant it – and she had refused to hear it, at first. At least until he had reminded her that he had always been  _something else_ , and she had looked at him, really looked at him (perhaps for the first time he could remember since he had  _changed_ ), and had asked him what he knew – what he remembered.  _Everything_ , he had told her, and she had nodded, looking very frail for a moment.  _Then don’t kill him, please_ , she had begged, and he had only nodded, not willing to discuss this particular matter with her. Or with anyone else, even though he suspected the High Warlock of Brooklyn knew something. Alec Lightwood’s infatuation hadn’t lasted, instead turning what could have been a romantic relationship, under other circumstances, into a deep friendship. It had only been a matter of weeks, and in retrospective, everyone had seen it coming.

Jace Wayland was too good of a Shadowhunter to die at his hands anyway, and still loyal to the Clave – though  _he_  wasn’t too sure why. They did not deserve it, after all, but then again, they did not deserve the sacrifice Alec Lightwood had made for them… The Old Creature they had invocated had said so, a whisper so soft no one else had heard.

_I could give you your heart’s desire_ , Alec Lightwood had been offered, and he had refused. As far as the Clave knew, anyway, because duty hadn’t been the only reason for him to volunteer, although no one knew it. He had bargained more than only a mean to win the war – Jace’s return to safety, and the Creature had grinned, before sealing the bargain. Alec Lightwood was nothing but a careful man, and he had written a letter to his other self, a letter he had been really interested in reading, before destroying it – how to get his soul back, and who to trust in the Shadowhunters world. Lydia Branwell was on the list, if she ever woke up from the coma her wound had plunged her into, Isabelle Lightwood was the only family member to be trusted, Clarissa Fairchild was an ally, and so were a few other Downworlders, including, but not limited to, Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. And they could all be trusted when it came to the safety of Jace Wayland.

He wouldn’t have been standing on the rooftop of that particular mundane building otherwise. Good fighters were too precious a resource to be thrown away on false assumptions, and he knew it would please Isabelle Lightwood to be able to fight alongside her wayward  _brother_  once more. She, too, was too good a fighter and too brilliant a mind –  _the best forensic pathologist in New York_  – to be ignored and he tried to take her opinions in account as much as possible – and as long as it didn’t outwardly go against the Clave’s orders.

Except where Jace Wayland was concerned, of course – or he wouldn’t have ended up  _here_ , in the middle of what was one of the coldest nights he could remember, waiting for something to happen.

The dreams had been too persistent to be brushed aside.

A move on the streets suddenly caught his attention and he shifted slightly, the bow vibrating slightly in his hands. He hadn’t used it since the bargain – on the Clave’s orders, who thought it best to keep the identity of their new weapon a  _secret_  – but now, for the very purpose of this night, there was something  _familiar_  in bringing it out. He knew Shadowhunters had been talking about his change of weapons – knew he had made many people uncomfortable, and that number was growing by the day.

_Let them talk. None of them had the guts to do what was necessary to win the war once and for all._

The bright purple of a Warlock portal caught his eyes, one silhouette jumping out of it before starting to run away, favoring its left side.  _Injured, and carrying something precious._  Soon enough, four more silhouettes jumped from the portal, which disappeared afterwards. No Warlock had come with the men – with Valentine’s soldiers.

_So he finally managed to escape. And probably brought the Mortal Cup with him, too._

He started moving, having a good idea of where his target was headed – and where to catch him, but not before getting rid of Valentine’s men.

_Good. The Clave will be pleased, and it will only make his return easier. Although not as easy as his sisters probably expect_ , he amended in his mind, following the five men from above, silent as a shadow.

The bargain had given him new abilities he would be sad to see go away – if the little band of misfits ever managed to get Alec Lightwood’s soul back. Oh, he knew there was a way to do it, but from what he had seen so far, they hadn’t been able to find it, and he wasn’t inclined to help them… as long as the war was still raging. On the other hand, they had started looking at him differently in the past two weeks – not as gloomily as before… Perhaps they had found a way to get the soul back, then.

His target was running slower and finally entered the building, obviously looking for a way to gain some time before having to fight the men sent after him. Two of them entered the building on his heels, the others a bit behind, watching their backs.

_Bad move._

None of them ever saw the arrows coming and fell on the ground in silence. Backup would never come for those still following Jace Wayland’s steps, and they too would soon fall into a perpetual sleep.

_The hunt is on._

 

ooOoo

 

Breathing heavily, Jace took the stairs two by two, trying to find a place where he could rest for a moment before facing his opponents. His escape plan had worked so far –  _surprisingly well_. Warlocks had been popping up on the ship in the past two months and his encounters with them had turned out to be quite painful, but the last one had been different… had actually been willing to help him escape Valentine’s clutches, if it meant opening a portal to some random mundane street of New-York. He had even been able to get the Cup before leaving, but Valentine had seen him walking through the portal at the last moment, and had sent four of his best soldiers after him.

_He probably figured out I took the Cup with me_ , and the thought was enough to make him shiver in fear. If he ever got caught, death would only be too sweet a punishment. He was still injured from his last training session, and could feel his strength fading away, each new floor more difficult to reach than the one before. He slowed down in an empty corridor, half walking and half running, trying to be as quiet as possible.

He didn’t want to die. Especially not in some mundane building, away from everyone he had ever loved…

To no avail. His back abruptly flared in pain and he buckled down against the wall, his breath taken away. Valentine’s soldiers were suddenly on him, fists in position, and he could hardly defend himself, his reflexes slowed down by the pain. A white veil descended on his eyes and he lost consciousness for a second or two. A nasty kick to the knees sent him to the ground, hitting the floor. Another kick to the stomach and he felt something crack, bringing tears to his eyes.

Jace was only too familiar with the excruciating pain brought by broken ribs.

The beating seemed to go on for hours, even though he knew it must only have been a few excruciating minutes. He was dimly aware this was all a game to the men, who were only too happy to use their fists and boots on him. They hadn’t even bothered searching him for the Cup, but he certainly wasn’t going to remind them of its existence.

“And that’s only an appetizer for what Valentine’s gonna do to you for betraying him, you  _traitor_ ,” one said, aiming for his face.

Huddled on himself, he was trying to protect himself when the pain suddenly stopped with a grunt. Weakened by the pain and the lack of food, Jace could only raise his eyes to the source of the noise, looking in surprise at the apparition of a Shadowhunter entirely dressed in black and holding a bow. The man took down Valentine’s soldiers in mere seconds, taking full advantage of the effect of surprise. He then turned towards Jace, who was fighting hard not to pass out, to no effect. He was barely able to take a look at his savior, noticing the cold, hard stare and the blood on the leather gloves, before passing out, unsure if his mind had played a trick on him. Could it really have been…

_Alec?_

He woke up laying on a couch, his jacket and shirt gone, gentle hands trying to clean up the dried blood over his body. An animated discussion was taking place over his head and he tried to figure out where he was and what the hell was going on – if he was finally starting to lose his mind…

“…can’t really draw an  _iratze_  on him right now, have you seen what he looks like? His body can’t handle any more pain.”

_Magnus Bane._  The High Warlock of Brooklyn – sounding very serious. His flat, then, and he must have been laying on the same couch Luke Garroway had almost bled to death. By the Angel, he hadn’t envied his position then, and he certainly didn’t like it any more now.

“Then why don’t you use some of your painkilling magic on him? Something has to be  _done_. An  _iratze_  or two would be the quickest way to –”

“It wouldn’t tone down the pain long enough for you to draw them, Isabelle.”

_What the hell? Izzy?_

He grunted, stopping the argument.

“Jace? Are you awake?”

He blinked and finally managed to open his eyes, waiting a few seconds for his view to focus. Clary was looking at him, anxiety all over her face, with Izzy and Magnus Bane a bit further, not looking much better. The war had been taking a toll on them, that much he could tell.

“Hey,” he mumbled before he started coughing, his throat dry.

Soon enough a glass of water was pushed to his lips and he drank it gracefully, not exactly realizing his lucky.  _His escape had been a success!_

“The Cup,” he muttered in a raspy voice, but didn’t bother going any further, as Clary was suddenly smiling at him.

“We got it, and I pushed it back to the tarot card,” she assured him, gently brushing a strand of hair from his face. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Worry about how we’re going to heal you, instead,” Magnus said, not unkindly. “Not that I mind having a fine shirtless specimen on my couch, but you look like death warmed you over and your wounds are serious. Rather resistant to my powers, too.” His face sobered at his last words.

“Valentine had a few Warlocks experiment on me,” Jace explained in a raspy voice, trying to reach for Izzy’s hand, who was only too glad to give it, looking happier to see him than she had ever been. The position was a bit awkward, with Clary sitting on the couch next to him, and his sister just behind her, but it was nice to see them both looking over him.

Magnus, on the other hand, didn’t seem to appreciate his explanation and frowned, walking away from the couch.

“Well, that explains some things,” he muttered, gesturing to Izzy, who moved away quickly, sitting at the head of the couch, literally hovering over Jace, and gently brushing her fingers through his hair.

It was nice, being fussed over like that by his two sisters – although he knew he didn’t share blood with any of them – especially considering his latest brush with death… but he was still trying to find  _someone_  in the room – and none of his efforts were discreet, given how uncomfortable Clary looked like.

“You will have to explain  _that_  in details,” Izzy finally told him, before losing some of her smile. “But before that, there is something we have to tell you about Alec…”

That the Clave had been losing ground very quickly once Valentine had started using the Cup, he had been aware. Too aware – the gloating had been impossible to escape. That the Clave had tried gaining the upper hand, he could very well imagine. That they had invocated one of the Old Creatures, he would never had imagined – too dangerous. (Valentine hadn’t had a clue they would have tried to do that either, and he told them so.) But that  _Alec_  would have made a bargain involving his  _soul_  – to be turned into a killing machine in the hopes of winning the war… it was too much of a nightmare for him to ever think of it, and despite Izzy’s explanations, he could barely comprehend it.

“The last six weeks have been… well, you can imagine,” Izzy lowered her voice, her face somber.

“And if not, you will soon witness it by yourself,” Magnus added with something akin to a grimace, and Jace wondered what had happened exactly between the Warlock and his parabatai. “Although I must say, we probably misjudged him a little –”

“Because he is the one who brought here, you know,” Clary concluded, patting him a bit awkwardly on the leg. “The Clave put a bounty on your head and we were worried –”

“I wasn’t going to kill him on sight,” a too-familiar voice said, and Jace tried to rise from the couch, wincing in pain before falling back.

Trying to move had been a  _bad_  idea – he could feel the old wounds on his back reopening, and his ribs were still hurting as hell.

“I haven’t turned stupid since the summoning ritual,” Alec added, walking towards them so that Jace could finally look at him, drinking in the sight of his  _parabatai_.

The atmosphere had become tense, all of sudden, with Izzy and Clary straightening around him, and Magnus taking place behind the couch, all amusement gone from him.

The man looked exactly like Alec – to no surprise – but it wasn’t him at all, and his joy at seeing him disappeared, leaving only the ice of disappointment. Gone was the warmth of Alec’s eyes – replaced with coldness and emptiness. His gesture, his behavior, hell, even his  _clothes_  were different – and he was moving with a feline grace that wasn’t totally natural. It was hard to find a glimpse of his parabatai in the stranger in front of him. Gone was his beloved Alec: in his wake was standing the Clave’s blunt little tool… The perfect Shadowhunter they were all supposed to become – to no avail, with the human blood running through their veins.

“And he is more useful to the Clave alive rather than dead. You all are,” the stranger said, his tone as even as if he was talking about the weather.

“ _We_  all are,” Izzy corrected, her smile entirely gone. “I don’t know what they’ve been saying to you but –”

Alec –  _Alexander Lightwood_ , and Jace  _knew_  he had to differentiate them if he wanted to keep his sanity intact – raised his hand, looking bored out of his mind.

“Nothing more than what they usually say. Now that we’re done with the explanations, if I can go back to the Institute with the Cup…”

“It’s staying with us for now,” Clary said in a firm voice. “It’s safe enough  _here_  for tonight,” she added, and Alexander looked at her, fairly unmoved.

“Are you people going to lose it  _again_? Because I seriously don’t want to go through the hassle of –”

“Nothing will happen to the Cup and you can come retrieve it tomorrow first thing in the morning, Alexander,” Magnus with a pacifying voice – or as pacifying as it could get.

Jace looked at them – tried to, laying as he was on the couch – unsure of what to do, and fairly lost in the new group’s dynamics. Before, he wouldn’t have had a problem convincing Alec to give them some time – to stay the night, even, but the man in front of him was already on the move, shrugging in front of the assurances he had just been given, as if he didn’t even really  _care_.

“Alec, wait!” and Izzy was running after him, speaking with him in ushered tones.

Jace could see him standing at the entrance of the room, the Shadowhunter seemingly unmoved by whatever it was than his  _sister_  wanted to talk about.

He was missing his parabatai so much his heart ached. So much for the reunion he had been hoping for over the past months…

Alexander soon stepped back in the living room, drawing his stele, Izzy nudging him towards, looking anxious. Whatever it was she had asked of him, he didn’t look very happy to do it – but again, he didn’t look very happy about  _anything_.

“Your  _sister_  thinks that if I re-draw an  _irazte_  on you, it might actually be of use,” Alexander explained in a slow voice before sitting on the couch, missing the looks Magnus and Clary were exchanging.

_Something else_  was going on, and Jace sure was hoping to get to the end of it very soon.

“Be my guest,” he mumbled, only too willing to try and have the pain disappear.

_And it did._  Re-drawing the rune had been as painless as it always had been, and Jace could already feel the pain receding, leaving him numb and aching – an improvement he was only too glad of. Even his parabatai rune didn’t hurt as much as before.

The closeness was helping too – having his parabatai sitting next to him, his free hand brushing slightly on Jace’s sensible skin, the touch light as a feather. He was only too aware no one had been touching him so gently since he had first stepped on Valentine’s ship. Even Clary hadn’t really touched him while she had been trying to clean off the blood on him, whilst he was still passed out.

The contact didn’t last long and it was too soon before Alexander was rising, towering over Jace in a way that wasn’t as threatening as it could have been – even though he felt more vulnerable now than before, aching for a physical contact more  _substantial_.

_Come back._

“Whatever those Warlocks did to you on Valentine’s ship, it’s nothing that can’t be taken care for. Your wounds shouldn’t trouble for the rest of the night.” He looked at the rest of the group, obviously done with them all. “See you in the morning.  _And don’t lose the Cup._ ”

And on those words, he was gone.

“Really charming,” Izzy muttered, shaking her head, before coming back to sit on the couch.

As exhausted as he was, Jace still noticed a weight seemed to disappear from the room as his parabatai walked off. Clary exhaled rather loudly, Magnus Bane shook his head and Izzy relaxed, although there was still a frown on her face.

“I take it you don’t hurt as much as before, right?” Magnus asked him and Jace nodded, not really trusting his voice – too  _unsettled_  for that. “I suppose I can do something now. If the pain is gone, I can try taking the Warlocks’s magic away from your body. Alexander may think you’re good for the night, but I prefer to check. Some of your wounds are nasty and they still need to be treated as quickly as possible…”

“I’ll help,” Izzy and Clary said at the same time, and Jace couldn’t help but smile weakly, letting himself be taken care of.

He hadn’t realized the High Warlock had become such a good friend of his sisters – even though he knew Izzy and him had hit off rather quickly, when they had first met – but it was for the best. They would need all the help they could get to win the war.

And to get Alec’s soul back.

_Parabatai, what did you do?_

 

ooOoo

 

The Clave had definitively won the war. It had only been a matter of weeks, and Clary knew she ought to be glad it had barely lasted eight months, but it was difficult to feel  _true_  happiness about it.  Knowing that her biological father had tried and raised an army to wreak havoc on a world she had barely started to discover – but yet now considered as her own – had tried to kill her friends, had considered  _her_  to be acceptable collateral damage… it was hard to swallow.

Her relationship with her mom was still strained since Jocelyn had woken up and no matter how many efforts she had made, how much Luke had tried playing the conciliator between them… she couldn’t really close the gap that had been growing her between them in the past few months. And it hurt, it really  _hurt_.

Jace coming back to the Institute with the Cup hadn’t really helped either. The Clave was still suspicious of where his loyalty really lay, but with Alexander being the one to bring him forwards, no one had said much. The rest of the Shadowhunters had mostly been ignoring Jace since he had come back –  _a much better outcome than they could have hoped for_ , Maryse had told Izzy, who had repeated it to her with disgust.

_She was one of the first to brand him a traitor and now she acts like that?_  Her friend had been furious, pacing in her room, not long after the Cup had been brought to safety.  _Now she tries to pretend it’s fine, that she’s glad Jace is back, but she is only behaving like that because Alec –_

Alec was becoming more and more of a sensible topic at the Institute. Shadowhunters had been staying clear of him for weeks now, too uncomfortable with what he had done to win the war, and even the Clave was becoming uneasy in front of what they had unleashed.

_At this rate, the Clave will want to get rid of him by themselves_ , Magnus had said a couple of nights ago, while they were lounging in his loft, trying to get some rest after the final battle, still not fully comprehending that they had won.  _His presence is making the Downworlders very uncomfortable and the Clave can’t afford to ignore them, not after what they did to help win the war…_

“Hey.”

Surprised, Clary turned around. She had been lounging in Izzy’s room at the Institute, trying to find some peace and quiet while her friend was – once again – acting as a diplomat between the Seelies and the Clave, and she hadn’t expected anyone to come here.

Jace was at the door, looking vaguely uncomfortable.

Things had been tense between them at first, Valentine’s presence hovering, but they had finally talked it out. Knowing that they weren’t  _really_  siblings had helped for sure, and they had managed to pick up their friendship where it had stopped, but their romance had been nicked in the bud.  _Wrong timing_ , and wasn’t it something of a recurring occurrence between Shadowhunters?

“Hey,” Clary said back with a smile, gesturing him to come over. “What’s up?”

Jace shrugged before coming next to her, hesitancy in his steps. He was different since his return, and she could only guessed what had happened on Valentine’s ship had played a big part in it. And with what had happened to Alec… two months hadn’t been enough to get used to the changes in the Shadowhunter, and Clary suspected they would never  _really_  get used to it.

“Magnus sent a message, said we should drop by tonight… do you know when Izzy will be back?”

Clary glanced at her phone.

“I suppose she shouldn’t be long anymore, but you know how the Clave can be…”

Jace winced before shaking his head and dropping on the bed, an arm on his face. His shirt rose up a little and Clary could see the sharp angle of his hip – he had yet to regain all the weight he had lost in Valentine’s hands… She and Izzy had been keeping an eye on him, but unfortunately, it hadn’t been enough – and there had been too many opportunities for him to forget about eating, the war having intensified in the last weeks, before it had came to an end. The final battle had been the bloodiest fight she had ever witnessed, and she could still see Valentine’s head flying away in her dreams, beheaded by the Inquisitor. It had taken long minutes for the fight to end after that, his supporters not willing to give up at first – not until they had seen they had definitively lost. Vampires and werewolves fighting side by side had made quite an impression on Shadowhunters of both sides and this, more than anything else, had brought the fight to an end.

They stayed together in silence, Clary lost in her thoughts, and Jace unmoving, his arm still covering most of his face. She wasn’t sure whether or not he was sleeping, but she didn’t feel too inclined to make small talk to fill up the silence of the room.

She was considering sending a text to Izzy when the sound of heavy boots walking towards the door got her attention. She turned slightly and felt her eyebrows rose when she realized Alexander Lightwood was standing in the corridor, looking at them, his face unexpressive. He hadn’t said much to them over the course of the last week, staying in the infirmary the first day after the battle to tend to Jace’s wounds – something that had turned into a ritual in the past weeks – or spending time in the library reading God knew what. Shadowhunters had been avoiding him like the plague since Valentine’s death, and Clary knew the discomfort at this presence was growing stronger by the day.

He stared at Jace for a moment, his eyes as cold as ever, before looking at her and nodding slightly. He then turned away without a word and Clary watched him disappear in the corridor, wondering what he was thinking – did he even  _care_  about any of them anymore or was he just checking on them out of habit?

“I miss Alec,” Jace whispered, so low she barely heard him.

Clary tried to reach his shoulder, but he had turned on a side, offering his back to her and her hand hovered between their two bodies before falling down. She sighed softly before turning her attention back to her phone, wondering where Izzy was – and wondering if any of them could actually bounce back from the horrors they had endured.

The cost of war was too heavy for her to handle on her own.


	3. Chapter 3

Izzy was bone-deep tired. Oh, winning the war had meant she had been able to sleep all her heart content for a week, but it hadn’t been enough to ease the fatigue she had been feeling since Valentine had made himself known – since her life had turned over her head. The equilibrium between the Lightwood family was more than fragile, and she wasn’t sure how long it would last. Her mother still disapproved of her relationship with Meliorn, still tried to pretend Jace was her favorite child – when it was now common knowledge she had sided with the Clave when they had issued the bounty on his head – and as far as Alec was concerned… well, neither her or her father really knew what to do. And poor Max still didn’t know the truth, stuck in Idris as he was – which was probably for the best.

“I think we can try again tonight.”

Magnus’s voice pulled her from her thoughts and she turned towards him, before taking a look at their little group. Clary and Simon were huddled together on the couch, Raphael not far away, while Jace was curled on himself in one of the chairs, still not looking too good. Magnus was standing in front of them, the old parchments spread away on the table, a glass of wine in his hand.

“Full moon, we’re all here, Alexander is at the Institute and dear Lydia said she would keep an eye on him, so it’s our best opportunity to go back to the cave.”

“Are you even sure this is going to work this time?”

Jace wasn’t very convinced, and Izzy couldn’t exactly blame him. They had told him in details their attempt at getting Alec’s soul back, and he had looked utterly defeated once he had discovered how it all had turned out. She couldn’t help but wonder if something was going on with the parabatai bond, something they weren’t aware of, but on the other hand, she remembered very well how Jace had been when he had first arrived in their family – distrustful, hurt and desperate for love. Knowing that Alec wasn’t really  _here_  anymore had been difficult to swallow, and she could very well understand why he would feel a little desperate.

“It’s worth a try,” Raphael pointed out, not unkindly. “If Isabelle’s hypothesis is right, they won’t have a problem with  _you_  asking for your parabatai’s soul.”

“My hypothesis  _is_  right,” Izzy mumbled, before sending a smile to the vampire. “It’s the only one that makes sense anyway.”

Magnus clapped in his hands, looking fairly cheerful for someone who was going to face down one of the Old Creatures again.

“Then if we’re all set on that, let’s get moving!”

_Definitively_  too chipper for someone who wasn’t sure he would still be alive by the end of the night. The Old Creatures were fickle, and being in the presence of one more than once was extremely dangerous – betting their lives on the fact they would be  _entertaining_  and not  _annoying_ , not even certain they would get out alive… Magnus had the reckless attitude of a Shadowhunter, sometimes, but she would never tell him so to his face – too insulting.

The journey to the cave was eventless. Demons had been avoiding getting out of the Downworld since the end of the war, and the presence of the High Warlock of Brooklyn and three Shadowhunters was dissuasive enough for them not to be bothered. The entrance let itself be discovered quite easily this time –  _because we’ve been here before_  – but the walk down the stairs was as dangerous as it had been the first time. Clary and Jace almost slipped twice, and Izzy couldn’t help but wonder whether the  _iratze_  they had been drawing on her brother were really efficient – or if his wounds weren’t completely healed because of the experiments he had suffered at the hands of Valentine… They knew they couldn’t have asked Alec to draw one that evening, not if they wanted to avoid unwanted questions, but perhaps questions would have been better than Jace’s injuries reopening themselves.

_Well, too late for regrets now._

Blood was still dripping from the roof of the cave and Izzy hoped the Old Creature hadn’t decided to annihilate them all for coming  _back_. It had apparently been entertained by their request,  _before_ , but a change of mood, and they would all be dead within a second, without even realizing it… unless  _it_  wanted them to be aware – to suffer.

“Now  _please_ , everyone, keep your temper in check,” Magnus was whispering his last advice, even though they had been going through them twice since they had left his loft, but Izzy could understand the desire of wanting to make sure they knew what to do – and what they should absolutely avoid doing.

They were walking on the ground of the cave now, and the wind started blowing again, brushing them and bringing an otherworldly smell. Izzy felt tension growing inside her, and she walked closer to Jace, wanting to be close to her brother for her second meeting with the Old Creature. Magnus was leading the way once again, a blue light glowing all over him. Soon enough they were approaching the pool, blood sloshing softly inside of the curved rock, the – already lit – torches casting soft shadows over them. They had been expected,  _again_.

Magnus took a long, deep inspiration.

“Well, here we are again,” he mumbled, before walking next to the pool.

Izzy, Clary and Jace joined him, standing next to the pool and waiting for the creature to appear. Their respiration was the only sound breaking the silence.

Suddenly, the flames on the torches grew smaller, and waves grew stronger in the pool. A mist of shadows slowly appeared and they all took a step back, while the Old Creature was emerging from the pool.

“What a pleasant surprise,” it said with a smile, and Izzy was sure she could see teeth among the shadows.

“We have come to retrieve the soul of Alexander Lightwood,” Magnus started and stopped short when the creature started laughing.

Uneasiness started growing inside Izzy. Her doubts about the mission were coming back in full force, and by the Angel, how could they even have imagined an Old Creature would be willing to help them?

“I know why you are here,” it said. “But this bargain is not yours to make, Warlock. Step aside and let the Nephilim talk.”

Magnus moved over, pale, his lips pinched, and Izzy nudged Jace, trying to convince him to move forward. He wasn't looking so good either and she caught Clary's eyes, widened in anticipation – and was it fear? A sensible reaction, for sure.

“I... hum...”

“Do not be afraid, child.”

The Old Creature came closer, something akin to an arm reaching towards Jace, and gently stroking his face.

“Someone was really eager to have you back,” it whispered slowly, its voice looming over them.

Izzy frowned.

“Who?”

Jace's voice was barely above a whisper.

Izzy’s doubts grew stronger, and she could see them reflected on Magnus’s face.

“Who do you think it was?” it asked, not unkindly. “Why are you here?”

Jace frowned, straightening his back, his grip stronger on his stele.

“For Alec. For his soul,” he said in an assured voice.

“And on what grounds?”

The Creature had moved back in the pool, seemingly swimming in it. Izzy held her breath and stepped closer to Jace, reaching for her whip.

“He is my parabatai,” Jace explained, his voice strong. “Our souls have been bound since the ceremony...”

His voice trailed off and they all huddled closer to him, unsure of the Old Creature’s reaction. It had been one thing for it to tell them they weren’t the right person to ask for Alec's soul, but now that Jace was here and had made his plea, would they even have a chance to get it back?

_Angel, be good to us_ , Izzy prayed, waiting for the Creature to come to a decision.

“Not so sure of yourself, aren’t you, Nephilim?”

It seemed to smile again.

Izzy had rarely felt so unsure of herself during a mission, and she had a hard time understanding why  _this time_ , more than any other, she was feeling that way.

The wind started growing in the room, bringing that otherworldly smell with it.

_Something’s wrong._

Jace hesitated, licking his lips before speaking in a low voice, trying to keep his tone as respectful as possible.

“I know where I stand, as far as Alec is concerned. I just don’t think you are really to give Alec his soul back, no matter how much I beg for it.”

There was silence for a moment, and the Creature started laughing, shadows growing over the pool. Blood waves were sloshing in the pool, some of it falling on the ground with a sinister nose, and Izzy started panicking – something’s wrong, something’s  _wrong, what the hell is going on?_

“Here is to those who speak their mind! But you are right, child. I am not going to give him his soul back.” It paused dramatically. “Because I do not have it.”

Magnus frowned and took a step forward.

“I had come to understand –”

“I know what you understood, Warlock.” The atmosphere in the room shifted, and Izzy could suddenly feel urgency running through her veins. “Your loyalty towards the Shadowhunters honors you.”

“They are my friends,” Magnus whispered, and Izzy reached out to squeeze his hand, cold sweat going down her back.

Her friends looked as lost and unsure as she felt, but she  _knew_ , deep down, that something was happening – that they never had felt like that the first time they had entered the cave and faced the Old Creature. Still, now, she felt so… mesmerized… her doubts looking at her… the otherworldly smell still strong around her…

“So I see… and you all are so determined to retrieve a lost soul… but do you think it is worth the trouble?”

“Of course it is!” Izzy exclaimed impetuously, anger fighting fear inside her. “Alec without his soul is not the same person and –”

“Yes, yes,” the Creature cut her in an annoyed tone and Izzy bit her tongue, furious – and yet, the more anger she felt, the more her doubts seemed to shrink. “But are you really willing to go this far for a person who thought sacrificing his own humanity to win a war was worth it?”

A very uncomfortable silence fell into the room. Izzy felt the anger draining out of her and was horrified to hear her own thoughts – what she had refused to consider except in the darkest hours of the night – expressed out loud. Looking at the rest of the group, she wasn’t the only one.

Her big brother had always been one to take the most extreme steps in order to assure his  _survival_  – or the position of their family within the Shadowhunters society – and actually witnessing him go this far to win the war had made her highly uncomfortable. She felt like a traitor for thinking so, and yet… it was all laid out in the open.

“Alec did what he thought was best,” Izzy opposed, but her voice sounded weak even to her own ears.

Clary seemingly lost her voice and her nerves at the same time, while Magnus didn’t appear very eager to speak either, looking pale. Only Jace was still looking straight at the Creature, a frown slowly deepening on his face. Shaking her head, Izzy tried to recreate the feeling of rage she had felt earlier, not understand why her mood had been swinging between doubts and despair since they had walked into the cave.

“And yet, you said someone had been eager to have me back… But the Clave blocked all initiatives for my… my rescue.”

A pause, then:

“Did Alec bargain his soul for me, too, and not just for the end of the war?”

Shadows stopped growing and the Creature looked somewhat calculating, all of a sudden.

“He did indeed,” it answered slowly. “Asked for a way to win the war, and for you to return to safety. Although”, and there was a cruel undertone to its voice, “he fixed no timely limit to  _that_. Had he done so, you would have been to escape far earlier.”

The Creature’s words stung, it was plain to see, but Jace carried on – ever the little soldier.  _Damn you to hell, Valentine_ , Izzy thought fiercely.

Her doubts started abating again, and she realized the otherworldly smell wasn’t as strong as before. Her mind seemed to be clearer, too, somehow.

“I still got out, and we still won the war,” Jace objected, and they all seemed to have found their voice again, because they were all agreeing. “Alec deserves to know his sacrifice wasn’t in vain. So, I am asking again: what do I have to do to get his soul back?”

Disappointment was radiating from the Old Creature, and Izzy realized it had all been a game to  _it_  – them coming the first time begging for Alec’s soul and being crushed by disappointment when they had realized they couldn’t have it, coming back with Jace to plead again, and the truth about Alec’s bargain…  _It had hoped for us to give up_ , she suddenly realized, and she looked sideways at the shadows still looming over them, wondering if they been able to influence their mind. The smell obviously had: they had doubted their decision to get her brother’s soul back so easily, all of a sudden…

“If you are sure of yourself, then…” the Creature seemed to shrug for a second. “I obviously did not make the bargain with the young Alexander Lightwood. Another of my ilk did so. Now, bargaining with a Shadowhunter having entered the parabatai, bond we all know that the soul can sometimes be asked for again, so you won’t have a problem on  _that_  side. No… The real question is, will you be able to walk through the darkest part of the Downworld, get the soul, and come back to this plane of existence?”

Silence hovered for a moment, and then Clary finally spoke up in a small voice:

“What happens if we are injured there?”

The Creature smiled.

“Nephilim blood will attract the demons roaming there, and they are not as weak as those you’re used to. Now, tell me, children… are you ready put your lives in danger for s soulless man?”

 

ooOoo

 

Jace could see the sun setting by the windows of his room and hurried a little, trying to decide whether or not it was best to bring food for their expedition in the Downworld.  They only had a very short window to go through it, while the moon was still full. It had barely been two days since they had walked into the damn cave, faced the Old Creature to get the information they needed and no one knew when the portal would be opened again if they didn’t walk through it tonight. In any case, Magnus Bane was of the opinion that they wouldn’t need food – it would only slow them down – but he wasn’t too sure what was going to happen to them once they would have entered the darkest part of the Downworld. The Old Creature hadn’t really bothered telling them how to actually  _find_  Alec’s soul once they would have walked through the right portal, except that  _he_  would feel a pull towards it, and that a container for it would be necessary, but Jace was still worried about the most basic necessities. His time aboard the Morning Star had taught him that food would always come irregularly, after all…

A little knock on the door caught his attention and he yelled at the person to come in, expecting either Izzy or Clary to be on the other side. They were supposed to meet at any minute now, so as to leave together to join the High Warlock of Brooklyn for their  _trip downtown_ , as Magnus Bane called it with some kind of a sneer, but his heart started accelerating when he turned to greet his visitor and realized who it was.

Alexander Lightwood was closing the door, half-turned towards him, dressed in his regular mission gear.

“Hey,” Jace offered, feeling as clumsy as usual when he was in the vicinity of the Shadowhunter, who offered him a nod in return.

“Going away for the night?” he inquired, and Jace licked his lips, hesitating before answering.

“Yeah, the girls and I are meeting with Magnus Bane tonight,” he finally answered, not very inclined to share  _why_  they were meeting.

He wasn’t too sure how the man in front of him would react, and it convinced him even more to do everything that was possible to get Alec’s soul back. He missed his parabatai too much – much more than what would have been accepted by the Clave, had they known of it. He had briefly wondered if his feelings had become obvious to the eye, but Izzy hadn’t seemed to notice anything – although she had a lot on her plate already. He knew she knew about Alec’s feelings for him – had known for a long time apparently – and had obviously been supportive, but he wasn’t sure she would grace him with the same sympathy… Yet, he felt bad for thinking so little of her – she had treated him exactly like before since his return.

“I can imagine why,” Alexander said, an eyebrow raised, something akin to the ghost of a smile on his lips. “It’s better not to ignore him – he has been very useful for our side during the war, after all.”

Jace frowned, all thoughts of Izzy or of his feelings gone from his mind.

“Is that all that matters to you? Whether or not people are  _useful_?”

He couldn’t stop himself from asking, slightly angry. He had seen how his sisters behaved towards the Warlock, how they had all become good friends. Hell, according to what he had been told, even Alec’s relationship with the Warlock hadn’t soured in the slightest, despite not having the expected outcome. Well, until his  _change_ , of course.

Alexander shrugged.

“Being useful  _is_  important. And it’s always good to know who you can reach out to when you encounter a…  _specific_  problem.” He tilted his head slightly. “ _You_  are useful too, and so is Isabelle. Even Clarissa Fairchild has her use. Besides…” he paused for a moment, and Jace looked at him. He had rarely seen the man pondering his words before speaking – he tended to be rather straightforward… even  _blunt_ , at times. “Besides, you all mean something to  _him_.” And something was suddenly squeezing Jace’s heart. “Your parabatai wanted to have you back, you know.”

“I know,” Jace said softly, feeling somehow reassured at the words – it was one thing to hear it from the Old Creature, but another to hear it from Alexander Lightwood himself. “And I want him back too.”

“I figured,” Alexander answered with a little smirk, leaning on the wall, looking very relaxed, all of a sudden.

“And you don’t mind?”

Jace knew he was trading on dangerous waters, but he couldn’t help it. He had never talked so  _intimately_  with the stranger wearing Alec’s face before, and he wanted answers – if he could get them.

“Not really… and I think it would be better for  _me_  if you all actually succeed in whatever it is that you’re going to do tonight. The Downworlders have not been ignored by the Clave on that particular topic.”

Jace nodded, feeling his resolve strengthening. If they were all in agreement, then it was for the best.  _You’re coming home, Alec_ , he swore to himself.

“Now, before you leave, do you want me to look at your runes?”

“If you don’t mind,” Jace said, before starting to take off his clothes.

His parabatai rune was still sensible and only the  _irazte_  drawn by Alexander had some kind of effect on his body, much to everyone else’s dismay – even the runes drawn by Izzy barely had a durable effect, which they had discovered during their trip to the cave. They had figured out his rune was sensible because Alec’s soul wasn’t  _there_ , but his body’s reaction to the  _irazte_  had been startling. Magnus was of the opinion that it was because of the experiments carried out on him by Valentine’s Warlocks, but he wasn’t too sure what to do to cancel the effects of said experiments. No one really knew  _what_  to do, and Alexander had taken to check on him almost every day, even now that the war had been won –  _to ensure his good health and sharpness in missions_ , as he had put it simply.

The process was as intimate as it always had been, but Jace couldn’t help wishing his parabatai really was  _here_  – with him, taking care of him… he had been aching for Alec’s presence for too long now.

“All done for now,” Alexander stated after a moment, moving away. “You’re good to go.”

“Thank you,” Jace said with gravity, and got a nod for answer.

“Good luck. And… be careful.”

And on those words, he was gone. Jace could still feel the ghost of the pain from the wounds inflicted by Valentine – it never seemed to really disappear – but it was still much better than before.  _All wounds must heal_ , he thought to himself while dressing up, checking for the empty bottle that was supposed to hold Alec’s soul in his jacket, his mind already turning to the evening’s mission.

It ought to be a success – he couldn’t bear thinking of the consequences otherwise.

Walking through the darkest part of the Downworld was as dangerous as Jace had expected, and he was glad not be alone on that journey. He had been leading the way, with Izzy and Clary close behind him, while Magnus Bane had stayed at the end of their little queue – he was  _the least at risk there_ , he had explained with a grimace, and no one had argued. They had been extremely careful not to bleed, despite the traps everywhere and the demons roaming around, but Jace could feel his nerves losing their steel as they were reaching the space where Alec’s soul had been laying on.

It was burning bright in the deep shadows surrounding them, the only source of light around – safe for Magnus’s blue glow – and Jace started shaking, wanting to run to it. It was calling to him, promising him  _home_  and  _safety_  and  _warmth_  and  _unalterable love_  all in one, but Izzy was restraining him – probably saving his life in the same move. They were walking on very thin ground, and one misstep would have them thrown into the void.

_Another trap from the Old Creatures, probably._

They were fickle and had tried to trick them before, after all. Jace could easily remember the piercing feeling of despair he had felt in the cave, the doubts about their mission, the certainty they couldn’t actually get Alec’s soul back… only the pain in his parabatai rune had sharpened his mind, reminding him they weren’t dealing with a benevolent creature. He had been worried they would have been killed by the Creature once he had expressed his thoughts – his  _true_  thoughts – but they had managed to come out of it alive, after all. No small feat, but one they were supposed to repeat tonight, and he was grateful to have Izzy, Clary and Magnus Bane at his side.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they arrived next to the soul, and Jace carefully knelt to the ground, hesitant to touch it.  _What if he hurt it?_  He could feel his parabatai rune pulsating at his side, and he knew he must have made some strange noise, because Izzy’s hand was suddenly squeezing his shoulder gently. He took a deep breath and got a little bottle from his jacket, opening it before putting it on the ground. He then reached for the soul, struck by its warmth as he softly hold it, before putting it in the bottle and closing the lid. The whole process hadn’t taken longer than a minute, but he could already feel the pain in his parabatai rune abating with the closeness of Alec’s soul.

_I’m bringing you home, Alec_ , he thought fiercely, before turning back to the path they had already walked on.

The hardest part was behind them and they were going  _home_.

 

ooOoo

 

Alec could feel his mother staring at him, silently wishing him to look up to her, but he refused to give her the pleasure. It had only been a few days since he had gotten his soul back – all thanks to Jace (as he had planned), Izzy, Magnus and even Clary – and he hadn’t been able to see his parabatai for more than a few minutes. The Clave had decided to  _ground_  him in his room as soon as he had been able to leave the infirmary – the whole getting-one’s-soul-back process being more than painful – and only his blood relatives had been allowed to visit him. Izzy had given him a detailed rapport of what had happened since the last time they had  _really_  seen each other, even though he had all his memories, but it had been more than nice to  _be_  with his sister again. He had missed her fiercely while he had been held in the Downworld, with nothing but emptiness around him.

He knew he was lucky that Izzy wasn’t  _too_  angry at him. In retrospect, his decision to bargain away his soul had not been his smartest move – even though  _their_  side had won the war and Jace had managed to come back home. Too extreme of a move, and if the Old Creature he had dealt with had been inclined to  _toy_  with him, he knew the consequences would have been far worse than any of them could have expected. Besides, he had gotten quite a lecture – after the welcome home hugs – on the risks of bargaining one’s soul away. That was probably the only time he had seen his mother agreeing with both Izzy and Magnus at the same time – a sure sign the move had been too  _risqué_. He honestly hadn’t counted on the Downworld being so offended at the bargain, but alas… In any case, it was now down to Izzy to lead the negotiations with the Seelies, to Clary to be an intermediate in the discussions with the vampires, to Magnus to calm down the other Warlocks (those who hadn’t worked for Valentine anyway) and to Luke Garroway to convince the other packs of werewolves that he was back to his regular state now, alongside with Shadowhunters more experimented in diplomatic matters – and the Clave wouldn’t have him walking free until the negotiations were done.

He was angry at  _that_  turn of events – bargaining with one of the Old Creatures had been the Clave’s idea from the start – but his father and Lydia had been trying to smooth things over with the Shadowhunters community since the end of the war, and he knew he had to be grateful for  _that_. At least some people  _understood_  where his decision had been coming from.

Giving his mother the cold shoulder wasn’t the most mature attitude he ever had, but he was tired, and he missed Jace. He had thought – hoped – that with his soul back, he would have been able to spend some time with his parabatai – see for himself how he was doing, after all those months spent apart – but they had barely been able to talk when he had woken up, and he hadn’t seen him since. He knew the Clave was behind it – still not trusting Jace for having been raised by Valentine – but he had hoped, despite everything, that his mother would have put her foot down… and she hadn’t. And he couldn’t bring himself to forgive her for that. Shadowhunters knew what happened to parabatai who were kept apart for too long, knew the impact it could have on their health, and still they were kept separated.

Maryse finally left and Alec barely rejoiced about it. He kept lying on his bed, eyes fixed on the roof of his room, wondering how long it would be before he would be allowed walk in the Institute again. Being sent on missions in New York wouldn’t be happening anytime soon, he was sure of that, but at least not being stuck between four walls would be nice…

Some noise in the corridor outside his room caught his attention and he rose slowly as the door opened. Jace –  _Jace_  – came in quickly, whispering something to Izzy that he couldn’t hear, before closing the door.

“Jace,” Alec whispered with urgency, walking towards his parabatai, unable to stop himself.

He barely had the time to open his arms than Jace was already hugging him as strongly as possible, taking in shaky breaths. Alec could feel his heart beating faster before slowly calming down – reaching a state of peace that was only brought by being so close to his parabatai. He could almost hear their hearts beating at the same time, and the pain in his rune was now only a memory – had been ever since he had gotten his soul back.

“I missed you so damn much,” Jace mumbled against his clothes, holding onto him for dear life – and he understood the feeling all too well, trying to return it as best as he could.

“I missed you too”, Alec murmured, lost in the moment – the feeling of serenity he was currently experimenting was doing wonder for his frayed nerves.

He had never felt so good holding Jace before.

They finally let go of each other, but stayed close enough to feel the warmth radiating between them. Jace was still too skinny – hadn’t been able to fully built back the weight and muscle mass he had lost on the Morning Star – but he had never been more beautiful in Alec’s eyes. He wasn’t sure whether or not his attraction shown, but for once, he didn’t care – he was past being ashamed of his feelings.

They stared at each other for a moment before Jace looked away, licking his lips.

“Don’t do that again,  _please_ ,” he finally said after a few seconds, looking utterly vulnerable – and Alec felt his heart broke, suddenly remembering how Jace had looked when he had first arrived at the Lightwoods’ house, so long ago.

“I promise I won’t,” Alec answered before reaching to his parabatai. “But I wasn’t sure how you were going to escape from Valentine and I –”

“It wasn’t worth your soul anyway,” Jace interrupted him, looking distressed. “Damn it Alec, I thought I would never be able to get your soul back!”

“Well  _you_  did and  _you_  are worth it,” Alec, protested, and he wished he could kill Valentine again when Jace shook his head. “You  _are_ ,” he repeated insistently.

“I’m  _not_.  _No one_  is worth bargaining your soul to the Old Creatures, Alec! Can you even imagine what would have happened if they had decided to trick you? To refuse to give your soul back? If they hadn’t played it fair?”

Alec frowned.

“Well they  _did_  play it fair and you’re  _back_  and the war is won and I’m not gonna apologize for doing what I did.” His anger had been raising, but disappeared really quickly in front of the distraught look Jace gave him. “It ended up  _alright_  for us, okay?”

He reached out to his parabatai, holding him close once again, trying to figure out the right thing to say. Taking advantage of his height, he gently nudged Jace towards the bed, feeling better once they were on it. Somehow, it was almost easier to hold onto the other now that they weren’t standing anymore.

The physical closeness helped calming him down, and he was sure it was the same for Jace – they were here,  _together_. And sure, he had taken a  _risqué_  bet, but it had been  _worth_  it. He wished Jace could understand it.

_Damn you, Valentine._

Finally, they let go of each other once again, turning so that they could be face to face. The sunset was slowly disappearing outside, and it brought a beautiful light in the room, almost changing the colors in Jace’s eyes.

“I thought I was never going to see you again,” Jace finally said in a strangled voice. “When I came back and you were… it wasn’t…”

He stopped for a moment and shook his head, eyes shining. Alec felt pretty shitty for having put his parabatai in that position without as much as an explanation. He should have left a message – a note to himself, to explain to  _someone_  what the bargain had really entailed. Izzy would have understood, and could have explained it better than him. She had, after all, a much better way with words than he could ever hope.

“I would always have come back for you,” Alec promised, feeling vulnerable under his parabatai’s intense stare – and suddenly, something seemed to shift in his behavior. “Jace… I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been sure there was a way to get my soul back…”

He fell silent again and Jace didn’t say anything, obviously pondering over something. Alec lowered his eyes, suddenly unable to keep looking at his parabatai. Those months spent fighting against Valentine’s army, and trying to find Jace at the same time – against the express orders of the Clave – had taken a toll on him, and he somehow regretted not being able to actually say it out loud. He  _knew_  it was dangerous for him to keep everything bottled up, but as usual, he was at a loss for words.

Silence was growing longer and he started shifting, uneasy. Jace gently touched him on the arm and he turned to look at him, not realizing how vulnerable he suddenly looked.

“I’m sorry I put you through this,” he whispered.

Jace blinked, before smiling gently at him. He seemed to have come to a decision, and Alec was a bit nervous to discover what it was.

“I forgive you,” Jace promised before taking his cheek in cup and kissing him – a soft touch on his lips, but still more intense than anything he had ever experimented. Alec blinked, opening his mouth, but Jace cut him short, determination all over his face.

“Don’t. I’ve had a lot of time to think about  _you_ , and about me, and about my feelings for you when I was on the Morning Star. This isn’t a comfort thing or whatever else people would say.”

He stopped for a moment, taking a short breath, and Alec was too stunned to say anything. He had never counted on his feelings being returned, especially after what had happened in the aftermath of the demon memories, and yet…

“I know this is dangerous, and I know what the Clave would have to say about that, but I don’t care.”

Jace went in to kiss him again, and Alec was only too glad to reciprocate the kiss this time. He knew for sure they would have to talk about it, to decide what to do in the future, how  _far_  they would go, but for now, the moment was too blissful for him to think about anything else than the feeling of Jace’s lips on his own and the warmth of their bodies together.

_It had all been worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably played fast and loose with the canon lore surrounding demons and the parabatai bond, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! 
> 
> Feedback is always welcome :)


End file.
